for the first time
by finally-alive
Summary: "We're smiling but we're close to tears." / Even the seemingly perfect relationships have their flaws. ::song-fic, non-spy; AU- CMZG


**dis**claimed-

* * *

><p>for the first time<p>

* * *

><p>"No, I don't want to hear it!" Cammie shouted, her voice echoing through the small apartment she lived in with her boyfriend. "I don't want to hear any more excuses; I just want you to be here. With me. Tonight."<p>

"Cammie, I need to go to my office and work tonight," Zach said, running a hand through his dark hair. "I'm sorry, but Mr. Solomon needs me to get ready for a board meeting and I think I'm doing pretty well. I might get promoted!" Zach said, hoping it'd make her understand how important this job was to him. He was finally, finally an executive of the famous Solomon Sports Company. It was his dream job coming up with advertisements for his favorite sports teams.

Cammie just glared at him, her insanely bright blue eyes were already wet with tears. She looked down at her shoes and kicked lightly at the carpeted floor. "I need you here Zach, please stay."

"Cammie," Zach said his voice softening as he reached out for her. She didn't jump into his embrace like she normally would. She just stood there, staring down at her shoes.

It was really hard to understand how Zach's work was so important when he made it so impossible. Normally, the pair would stay in on Fridays and watch a movie. Then Saturday was date night and Sunday was when Cammie made dinner for the two. But since Zach's been working longer hours, and Cammie was still in school, trying to get her Master's Degree. She spent most of her nights waiting for him, alone, at a table set for two. Cammie hated being lonely. It was the worst feeling in the world. She hated being alone in their apartment at night, laying in a bed that was way too big for one lonely soul.

"Cam," Zach stepped towards her but then his cell phone rang, he sighed as he met Cammie's crying eyes. He answered his call, "Hello? Yes, Mr. Solomon... I'll be right there." He hung up his call and placed his phone into his coat pocket. "Cam… I need to go."

Cammie stood there, tears streaming down her face. "You're leaving? Really? Right now? In the middle of a fight?" She crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to seem vulnerable even though she was crying.

"I don't want to be fighting!" Zach said, his voice rising a little. "I don't want to be fighting here with you, but you're making it impossible for me to stay calm!"

"Oh, I'm impossible now?" Cammie glared at him, anger boiling into her body. She felt like she was a firework being lit and ready to explode.

"Yes, a little!" Zach said back, this time, not holding back the anger in his voice. Cammie could see the fury that was settling in his gorgeous emerald orbs. "I just need to go to work, why are you making it so hard?"

"Work? That's what you want? Fine!" Cammie screamed and walked over to the door and held it wide open for him, "Go Zach, go to work. Leave me here. Like you always do." Cammie said each word icily.

"Fine! I will. I'm sick of fighting with you." Zach yelled back and grabbed the brief case that was sitting innocently on the couch. He gripped it tightly and walked over to the door frame, stopping right in front of Cammie. "I'm going now because honestly, I'm so tired of fighting with you. Why can't you see that work makes me happy?" Considering the height difference, he had to glare down at her.

"Oh, and I don't?" Cammie said bitterly, "Thanks a lot."

"What is your problem?" Zach yelled, not understanding why his girlfriend was so upset. Was this some girl drama? PMS?

"Why can't you see that I'm so sick and tired of being alone all the time?" Cammie yelled back, "Why can't you understand how much I miss you when you're not here? We're in a relationship, but it doesn't feel like it. I hate this. I hate your stupid job. _I hate you_!"

Cammie's face was red from all the screaming and her eyes were fat from all the tears that were streaming down. Her throat felt itchy from all the yelling. But all she could do was be angry.

"You hate me?" Zach snorted grimly. "Well, fine, you hate me."

"JUST GO, ZACH!" Cammie yelled, feeling her chest constrict. She held the door angrily and watched him walk off and down the hall. She slammed the door loudly and leaned her head against it. She listened to Zach's footsteps and then the opening of the elevator door. Once she heard silence, she opened the door a little and saw no one. He actually left.

Cammie screamed and shut the door, then slid to the ground clutching her fists. She laid her head on her knees and cried. She stayed like that for quite some time.

_She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,  
>While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar.<em>

Zachary Goode and Cameron Morgan were like two peas in a pod. They were each other's halves. They were young, wild, and free. They've been the best of friends since the first day of Miss Jeremiah's kindergarten class when they shared a box of Crayola Crayons. Since that day, they've always had each other's backs. Zach remembered the exact day he met Cammie. He remembered what clothes she wore, what style her long brown hair was, the smile that stayed on her young, beautiful face. Everything. He remembered it all.

They grew up together since they lived on the same street. They've always had each other because in this big bad world, it seems only appropriate you have a few people who will always be there for you and really know you.

_Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,  
>She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time<em>

Zach drove down to his office angrily. He gripped the steering wheel, making violent turns when necessary. He clenched his teeth, his eyes glaring at the road ahead of him. He hated fighting with Cammie, it was one of the worst things in the world. She always got angry, then he always got angry, and the results were never good. Honestly, Zach never knew if he and Cammie ever forgave each other for their fights. It always seemed like after a fight, they'd just go back to the way they were. No apologies. No explanations. They just moved on. Probably because bringing it up, would result in another fight. And fights could only mean they were losing each other. Despite their hard headed and stubborn personalities, they really didn't want to lose each other.

Zach drove into his company's parking lot and parked at his usual spot, right next to the company's president's spot. He got out and slammed his car door loudly that it echoed through the empty parking lot. "Fuck," Zach muttered to himself and made his way to his office.

It was almost ten o'clock, so almost all the employees were home with their families. But they weren't the executive and they didn't need to work as hard. Zach walked down the carpeted aisle and looked out at the glass walls that aligned the building. He looked down at all the people who were walking around and living whatever lives they had. A light blanket of snow fell over the town last night, so the town was a bit of a winter wonderland. Cammie loved snow. Especially taking walks in it.

"Zach," a voice snapped Zach out of his thoughts. He looked up to Mr. Solomon holding the door to the conference room open, "Are you coming?"

Zach nodded, "Yes, I'll be right there."

Zach straightened out the black tie he wore and followed right after his boss. There were only four other people in the conference room; Macey McHenry -the VP and Zach's arch nemesis-, Bex Baxter, Liz Sutton, and Grant Newman. Zach took his seat next to McHenry and opened up his brief case.

"I'm glad you guys could all be here tonight," Mr. Solomon said as he turned on the projector by his desk. He looked over at everyone and nodded, "I hope I wasn't interrupting any of your personal activities."

"Not mine," Macey cooed, "I'm always just a call away Mr. Solomon." She smiled enthusiastically.

Zach rolled his eyes. _Kiss ass_, he thought to himself and pulled his clip board.

Mr. Solomon smiled at Macey, "Well, that's good to hear, I hope all of you will be just as loyal as Miss McHenry because I'm gonna need you guys."

"For what?" Liz asked as she slipped her glasses on.

"Our company is expanding!" Mr. Solomon smiled and held his arms out like a game show host. "To London, by the end of this month."

Zach cleared his throat and spoke up, "Um, this month? For how long Mr. Solomon?"

"Does it matter?" Macey glared at Zach, interrupting before Mr. Solomon could answer. "The point is, we're gonna be expanding and that's great for the company."

"It is," Mr. Solomon nodded then looked over at Zach, "And, we'll be away on this new project for at least six months."

"Six months?" Zach's eyebrows shot up.

Mr. Solomon nodded again and pulled out his laser pointer to point at the screen. "Yes Zach, six months. Will that be a problem?"

"Um, kind of, you see, I have a girlfriend here. She and I live together…" Zach replied quietly, embarrassed he had to bring this up in front of the staff.

"Oh yes," Mr. Solomon said, his back facing Zach as he looked at the graphing chart being projected on the wall. "Camille is it?"

"No, Cammie." Zach replied defensively.

"Well Zach, you're a part of this company," Mr. Solomon turned around to face him and the others. "A great asset to our business and you are a great addition to my personal staff. But I need you on this new project and if your personal life gets in the way, that's too bad. You have to decide. Are you in this project or are you not?"

_And we don't know how,  
>How we got into this mess, is it god's test<em>

Cammie got up off the floor and changed into one of Zach's old sweat shirts. She hated having to say what she did, but if she didn't, then things would never change. She hugged her stomach as she looked at herself in the mirror that was in the bedroom that she and Zach shared. Red rims circled her eyes, dried tear streaks stained her face, and her hair was a disaster.

She sighed and studied the girl in the reflection. As usual, she was alone. But tonight she was also scared. She was scared that in the morning she'd wake up alone because Zach never came back. She was scared that she and Zach were broken up.

Sure, they fought a lot and Cammie even said she hated him. But deep down, all she did was love him and missed him. She missed him so much that it hurt. Ever since Zach got the promotion three months ago, he's become distant. They no longer stayed up talking, they no longer went on dates, and they no longer said "I love you." That was the scariest part.

Cammie turned away from the mirror and sat on the king sized bed she shared with Zach. She crawled over to the middle and hugged her knees to her chest. Suddenly, the whole room seemed to be growing and getting bigger.

_But we both know how,  
>How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,<em>

Cammie and Zach had a long history; they've known each other for nearly seventeen whole years. The two never seemed to get tired of each other. They always loved being around the other. Things were great for them, since they were fourteen and Zach told Cammie he loved her. Since then, they've always been in love. They were always giving each other silly presents and talking about things that no one else seemed to understand.

Things were great for them, until things started to get hard.

_But we're gonna start by,  
>Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,<br>Sit talking up all night,_

Cammie walked into the living room, dragging a blanket behind her. The last thing she wanted to do was fall asleep in that big empty room. She plopped herself on the couch and wrapped the blanket around her small form. She looked at the digital clock on the fire place, it was almost midnight.

Cammie sighed, not bothering to wait up for Zach. There was a big possibility he wouldn't even come home. Cammie tried not to let the tears fall at that thought. She hugged the blanket tighter around her and snuggled deeper in her pillow. She was tired, but she couldn't sleep.

After what seemed like hours of lying there, Cammie finally drifted to a light sleep.

But when she opened them, Zach was sitting on the end of the couch by her feet. Cammie blinked to make sure she wasn't dreaming then sat up. She looked at the time, it was almost one thirty. Then she turned back to Zach and curled up on the opposite side of the couch with her blanket.

"You're home," Cammie said, well aware of how crappy she looked.

Zach nodded then took off his coat and kicked off his shoes. A paper bag sat on the coffee table and Zach reached out for it. He pulled out a carton of ice cream and handed it over to Cammie. She pulled her sleeves down so it covered her hands like gloves and held the cold carton. Zach pulled something else out of the carton, a tall bottle of wine. He smiled at her weakly and popped open the bottle then handed her a spoon for her ice cream.

Cammie took it and pulled open the lid. She lightly scooped at her ice cream, taking a small bite. Zach didn't bother taking glasses; he just drank straight from the bottle. Cammie watched him as she melted the ice cream in her mouth before taking another bite.

"I'm really sorry about earlier," Zach said, loosening his tie. "It was stupid, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I should've understood where you were coming from."

"Do you?"

Zach nodded, "Sort of. These past three months? They've been… hard. I mean, I've actually been so happy getting to be promoted and all. But…" He looked over at her and reached for her small, cold hand. "But I missed you and I don't know why it never occurred to me that you might miss me too."

Cammie nodded slowly, setting the carton on the coffee table, she straightened her sweat shirt and sat up, "Zach, _I'm_ sorry. I feel really bad that I couldn't accept your job. I mean, it makes you happy, you know? And… I shouldn't have yelled at you and I'm sorry that I always pick fights with you, but I really do miss you." Tears formed in her eyes and her voice began to crack. She covered her mouth with her hand and let the tears fall. Zach pulled her into a tight embrace, so she was sitting on his lap.

"Don't cry, Cam." He stroked her hair with one hand and held the wine bottle in the other. She melted into his touch and leaned her head on his chest.

"But," he started, "I need to tell you something." He said as he played with her hair, "The company's expanding to London and I'm supposed to be away for six months."

"Six months!" Cammie nearly shrieked, tears still running down her face. She was about to sit up, but Zach held her to his chest and whispered in her ear, "Yes, but, I didn't take it. I can't stand to be away from you for six months when our relationship is slowly falling apart." He kissed her cheek as she closed her eyes. "I love you," Zach whispered. "Always have, always will."

Cammie opened her eyes and looked up at him, "So you won't be taking the job? Are you sure? You love your job!"

Zach nodded, "I do, but I don't want us to keep fighting and they're gonna be fine on the job without me. And I decided to work less hours." He ran a hand through her soft hair, "You know? I really did miss you."

"I missed you," Cammie said, lacing her fingers through his.

"Do you still hate me?" Zach asked with a small smile.

_We're smiling but we're close to tears,  
>Even after all these years,<br>We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time_.

The next day, Cammie woke up on the couch with Zach's arms tangled around her small body. She smiled as she watched her boyfriend sleep. It was nine o'clock on a Saturday and for the first time; he was home and sleeping in. She kissed his cheek lightly and untangled his arms from her body.

The living room was pretty much a mess, the ice cream carton stood on the coffee table filled with melted ice cream and the wine bottle was already empty and pillows were everywhere. Cammie was about to pick up a bit when Zach's voice startled her, "What are you doing?" He yawned.

Cammie turned back to him, "go back to sleep."

Zach made a face and pulled her by the waist to sit back down on the couch. "Let's clean up later, can we just lay here first?" Cammie looked back at him and smiled, "okay." She laid back down as Zach hugged her tightly. She leaned her head on his chest, "I love you," She said and listened to his heart beat.

_Oh these times are hard,  
>Yeah they're making us crazy<br>Don't give up on me baby_

**a/n: okay, I wanted to do a oneshot, I'm attempting to be more active on this fandom. So there it was. although, this isn't just a oneshot, it's a songfic :D for one of my summer songs: **for the first time by the script.** Uggh, the lead singer has the best voice ever and I melt every time I hear their music. *sighs dreamily. So this is my second songifc :D and if you read my first songfic, you should know, I never put down all the lyrics. Btw, this is AU, they're non-spy, and yeah(: please leave a review, please? **


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